a couple of weeks ago i wrote about the search for the perfect pre-fuck warm up dildo in broken glass up your ass and – well – you all are some sick motherfucking puppies – which is of course why we love you and you love us.

we got some suggestions for what some guys swear are THEEEEEE best warm up fake cocks -

- from porn star dicks to inflatable phalluses to prostate massagers …

inflatable from a facebook fan?

Black Hammer?  who the fuck is Black Hammer?  well he must be somebody he has his own dildo (thanks estimsounding)…

prostate massager milking device anyone?

from StudlyJO

“Here’s an item I found at Fort Troff.  Of course I had to remodel it to be ideal — it pressed too much in one place and not enough in another — it’s vinyl and I boiled and bent it, sawed part off, sanded, filed, scraped, and tested, tested, tested.  It’s ‘hard’ work but somebody’s gotta do it!  (It’s not really dirty, I keep my toys dusted with cornstarch [not a bad JO lube itself] and the vinyl doesn’t polish smooth so the white powder gets in the scratches.) 

The day of, I eat a good size carb and protein, low fiber breakfast as early as possible.  Nothing else all day.  I start to clean out at least 3 hours before the party.  I use a flexible neoprene nozzle to start.  And then rest awhile, usually at the computer looking at the product of your wonderfully demented mind!  I do a spot check and then move on to a 30” colonic hose that shots the water sideways and out, rather than out the end and further up — from here on it’s about rinsing, not evacuating.  I’m looking for cloudy clear mucus with no color or flecks.  Any remaining water will be absorbed.  It takes about four passes unless I’ve waited too late for my last food.  Ideally I’m clean and dry enough to still be sweet in the morning to get my hole sucked and fed to me while I get some more cock juice in there. 

Between rinses I sit on this baby at the computer.  It’s not huge, only about 3-1/2” penetration and 1-1/2 x 1-1/4” at the max but VERY effective.  (I like to be tight like a virgin, every time, all night long and have incredible muscle control up my hole, way beyond my sphincter).  For me it’s about mood and a hole that craves getting filled MORE.  This does the trick as I move and wiggle on it, levering it against my prostrate with the exact right strength for a great massage.  It’s so good I frequently wear it when I top because every time I flex my cock in my bottom, my engorged perineum forces this back onto my prostrate.”

and then some sick fuck in the San Fran office posted this – which
- i have since found out ain’t a dildo – it’s a cookie – bitch you know who you are…

From PDQ

“I read your blog post about the search for the next top dildo and thought I’d share a pic of my collection.  I can’t tell you that any particular one of them is a favorite of mine as they all make me feel good “down there”.  In fact I have been known to play a little game using them.

I put in a TIM DVD.  I start with the smallest dildo, lube it up, shove it in and then grease up my cock.  For the entirety of the first scene I have to continually fuck myself with the dildo while stroking my cock.  If I get close to cumming, I can back off on the stroking, but I still have to be fucking myself and I still have to have at least my hand ON my cock.

When the second scene comes on, I switch to the second toy and do the same and so forth until I finally can’t control myself and I blow a huge load.  Usually I’m into about the fifth scene and it will take something like me imagining how good that 18″ double ender is going to feel in order to put me over the edge.

GREAT FUN!  I highly recommend it.”

PDQ… a dildo fuck game while watching TIM porn? – we may have to try that out ourselves…

minnesotahole says his pre-fuck dildo is the one in the middle.

is that the black one?

is that a bunch of dildos in a dish washer?

what will the maid say?

and last but not least evolver100′s impressive collection:

“I was chuckling at your post about the warm up dildo… I am a huge lover of arse play and I can get fucked for hours and hours very hard, I can’t get enough; and in fact nights at the Hoist are always a highlight; and I generally don’t need to limber up with toys… I just go for it. I am a huge Fist Fan too, and love to get fucked and fisted… in fact the other weekend I was the slut sub for a session, once I had taken a load, another guy fisted me very deeply, pushing the cum deep inside my hole, and then fucked me more :@) Of course a dildo is always close at hand, and my toy collection (some of it) is attached… but its the big black dildo I love to bounce on for hours; hollowing me out with a nice big bottle of poppers and some TIM porn :@) I have a talented arse and can milk a guy with my hole.”

yes evolver100.

it looks like you do.

thanks to everyone who responded!

i tell young wanna be TIM bottoms all the time that one of the tricks of the trade for preparing for a porn shoot involves the Big 3-D’s:

diet, douching and dildos.

all the greats routinely get ready by sticking shit up their ass.  (actually i shouldn’t use the word shit since that is what they are trying to stay clear of.)

dawson once said to me that he would insert a dildo bigger than any cock i was going to find for him prior to a shoot to make sure he was ready for whatever i threw at him (there is a moment in Dawson’s 50 Load Weekend where we show me walking in on him getting ready).

christian comes to shoots with an arsenal of toys as can be seen in Christian’s 24 Cocks in 24 Hours.  the man has more pretend phallus shaped things to drive up his butt than anyone i know.

so a few months ago – a top suggested that my friend get a glass dildo – the “exotic pearl glass 8-incher” to be exact – and my friend swore by it as the best “prep” tool for getting fucked he ever used.

sure he referred to it as a glass dildo but i thought it must be plexiglass cause who in their right mind would stick something made of actual glass up his ass? (other than you sick fuckers who like to put beer bottles up your hole).

and then one saturday afternoon he texted me this frightening image:

he was getting ready in his bathtub and the lube (fuck you eros!) caused a slippery slope and he accidentally dropped his new best friend and the fucking thing shattered into pieces.

scary.

(i might say my own experiments with the exotic pearl are that it is smooth and silky and slides right it but it is no where near thick enuf to prepare your ass for anything but getting fucked by a pencil dick.)

but it got me to wondering what IS the best dildo for preparing to get fucked?

send me pictures of your favorite pre-fucking fake penises and i’ll post them and we’ll do tests and experiments and see what works best.

max@treasureislandmedia.com

this should be interesting.